Sex always makes my nose run
And as the paint chips away
I can begin to see
I can begin to breathe
and to exist again
I scream in remote-button mute
just to feel it suffocating me
insidious reasoning
I can begin to see the
growing belladonna
The growing ashtray of deceit
the mothers renouncing
the sideways dreams
of you in ways you never’d want to know
and deferred tattoos
and halfdead bugs
With shinning gold surrounding them
discarded dental floss,
scarab smile
your bastardly heart has taken you again.

Why do all the beautiful people smoke?
as he edges up against
a corporal body bouquet
oh god, not him too

a traitorous organ,
a destroyer—
stick your claws into me
I want to be your rape victim,
eyes like dead flower paperweights
on olive watermarked leather

You smile in French,
Au Revoir
eyes speaking fluent Russian winters,
До свидания (Do svidaniya)
Heart a
kokoro no sayounara

you rule my dreams

(Not him too.
oh god.
not him too.)

a long list of the elegant
speckled with “hello, I love you”s
keeping your left arm open
smiling in tones that speak of marriage
nothing I could want more

I worry about ink drawings
and crisp white dress shirts
and the clean line of a beard

an aura I can feel
and nearly hold
too close to love

why do all the beautiful people
speak in tounges
edged with razors
and kiss with burning lips?

Like a skipping record,
I always come back
I always wait and smile intently

Urge me on
I beg of you this
I’ll take you beyond normalcy
beyond reality and preconceptions

Like a woman,
nothing more
nothing less
a woman is beautiful, regardless
and so are you

a long-standing relationship with daydreams,
utterly slain
weak-kneed,
I stay on the floor.